I haven't been posting lately because I've been feeling kinda depressed. I started a new job last Thursday and I am not liking it.
Its not that this place is full of jerks or that they make me do dishes all day, its more that this job is not what I want. I'm working at a restaurant located at a hotel. This place would be better suited to someone who has better practical skills, where as I think I'm better at the theoretical aspect. My intention is to work with a focus more towards baking and pastry but to finish my Culinary Arts program I need to finish this 5 month work placement.
I think that my instructors have a lot more faith and confidence in my abilities than I do. I've also seen this from a few of the second year students who think that I am one of the strongest people in my class, but I don't really see what they do. When placements were being assigned my instructors had given me a location, however when they got together and discussed it they decided I would be better suited to this location. At the time I didn't realize that they probably thought I was so great and I would do so well at this place, but I don't think that was true. I feel like I hardly know anything about the proper way to do most of this stuff and I am really worried about screwing stuff up and letting people down.
Before I started work I was looking forward to the job and was expecting to enjoy the experience, but after the first day I immediately felt depressed, and it didn't get any better until almost a week later. I ended up with this Saturday and Sunday off and I was hoping I would be able to get out and do something fun. Friday night I asked a few people if they wanted to do something but they all had plans, but I wasn't really worried because I figured I still had Saturday. So today I tried to ask people to do something but out of everyone I tried to contact, all the ones who replied had other plans. So once again, I get to sit alone in my room on a Friday and Saturday night.
I just want to curl up in bed and stay there for days or weeks
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